Today I need to talk about two women: my daughter and her friend. Names have been changed to protect and ensure privacy.
My daughter- let's call her Rachel- met this friend, who I'll call Melissa, in their first year of college. They looked kinda the same: tall gals with long hair and constant smiles. They both enjoyed the same kinds of college activities: going out dancing, goofing off with their guy friends, and maybe keeping their grades up. They met each others' friends from home. They brought each other home to hang with family.
Then they both graduated, started working, and got their Masters' degrees. They were so busy after college but they tried to catch up from time to time. Summers were easier so there were beach and pool and Karaoke bar meetups. But still not very often.
They both work in fields where they probably won't become millionaires but they will change the lives of young people for the better. Overworked and stressed-out but fulfilled. And still not a lot of free time for each other.
Until one year when they both met "The One".
(I'll refer to these folks as their "Significant Others". Actually I'll just shorten it to SO for brevity.)
Suddenly they were in each others' lives with more frequency again!
There were celebrations and showers to attend and colors to pick. Old friends were reconnected and new friends were introduced. They helped each other out with planning, and complaining, and calming frayed nerves.
They both made the commitment with their SO's to adopt a pet together. Melissa and her SO got a little pup named Harry who could melt your heart with his enormous ears.
Rachel and her SO got a big oaf named Frank who could knock you over with his enormous everything.
They both stood on the beach and witnessed each others' weddings. They made the same vow to love and respect and be faithful to their SO's. They drank and danced and started their married lives.
Melissa and her SO bought a house. Rachel and her SO are still looking.
They all go to their jobs and walk their dogs and water their plants and pay taxes. They post pictures on Facebook of trips taken, of meals cooked, of sporting events cheered at.
Soon it will be the holidays and I'm sure there will be plenty of "Our First Thanksgiving/Christmas" posts for me to enjoy. Maybe we'll all get together on New Year's Day for the Penguin Plunge!
And then we come to a fork in the road.
Rachel and her husband Victor will be looking forward to their first anniversary.
Melissa and her wife Sandy will be wondering how long before their marriage is invalidated.
Thursday, November 10, 2016
Saturday, October 22, 2016
On turning 50.
Let's do the math: I am probably way past the half-way mark and now approaching the 3/4 mark on the time line of my life expectancy.
It's time to really focus on what is important during my remaining years.
Every day should be celebrated as if it was a party.
Even if the day really sucks balls, there has to be at least a tiny portion that isn't too bad so go ahead and party it up.
Straight is great. Out is in. Whatever. Happy people are productive and kind so why hate on who they date? Being in love is a good thing.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I like hot dogs and donuts and boxed wine.
It's time to really focus on what is important during my remaining years.
Every day should be celebrated as if it was a party.
Even if the day really sucks balls, there has to be at least a tiny portion that isn't too bad so go ahead and party it up.
Straight is great. Out is in. Whatever. Happy people are productive and kind so why hate on who they date? Being in love is a good thing.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I like hot dogs and donuts and boxed wine.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Guest Speaker
Wow- I am so honored to be the guest speaker at this month's Rotary Club luncheon meeting! I have a few ideas for possible topics to discuss and would appreciate any feedback. Here's what I have so far:
How to maximize your parole.
Herpes- when do you bring it up?
Why dog ownership is way better than parenthood.
Yoga for amputees
Quick and easy recipes for affordable homemade explosives
Aliens: Myths or architects of the Pyramids?
How to maximize your parole.
Herpes- when do you bring it up?
Why dog ownership is way better than parenthood.
Yoga for amputees
Quick and easy recipes for affordable homemade explosives
Aliens: Myths or architects of the Pyramids?
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
"Autism and eyes closed"
Just for today, I have changed the privacy setting on my Facebook page to "Everyone" in order to reach as many people as I possibly can.
As everyone knows, my daughter Lizzie has Autism.
Or she is Autistic.
Not really sure of the ettiquette...
Anyhow, almost two years ago Lizzie closed her eyes and since then she hasn't really opened them at all. At first she would walk into things (and people) and hurt herself (and people) but since then she has learned to keep her eyes open just a tiny slit or perhaps take an occasional peek, or perhaps she has miraculously developed sonar. Not really sure about this, either.....
This has caused a great deal of anguish to everyone except Lizzie. School feels that it is a hinderance to her learning. The Groden Center feels that it is a behavior to be addressed. Solutions Cedar has suspended Lizzie's PASS hours until this "safety issue" is resolved. Sadly, Lizzie has not been labelled 'Legally Blind' and thus continues to be discriminated against/harrassed/generally annoyed across all settings.
My dilemma: let Lizzie choose to be voluntarily blind as a way to diminish her sensory overload OR- continue down the diagnostic highway with frequent stops at every eye specialist, neurologist, child psychologist, and behavioral specialist along the way. I asked Lizzie if she could hear better with her eyes closed and she said that she did. She also told me to stop talking about it. When I tell her that it is time to work on reading skills, she opens her eyes (a little) and reads pretty well for a kid who really doesn't love to read!
Right now she is wearing a pajama top with blue penguins and pajama bottoms with pink cupcakes- and she is aware of it- and she doesn't care. I don't care either. Every morning she chooses her own perfectly-appropriate clothes for school.
As a parent, I want my child to be happy and safe.
I used to wish for her to be "normal" but now I know better.
I like the Lizzie I have: she doesn't sass back or text incessantly about boys, (she doesn't even like to talk on the phone), she never asks for slutty clothes or a tattoo, she will never experiment with drugs- she won't even try new foods without a major scene.
I believe that Lizzie has the right to be herself: the somewhat-verbal, always-comical, seldom-polite, petite, beautiful girl who hates dogs and snow days and loves perfume and swimming and techno music.
Is there anyone, ANYONE at all, who knows someone or someone's friend or someone's neighbor's dentist's cousin-in-law who likes to have his or her eyes closed all the time??? If so, I'm just curious. HMU.
As everyone knows, my daughter Lizzie has Autism.
Or she is Autistic.
Not really sure of the ettiquette...
Anyhow, almost two years ago Lizzie closed her eyes and since then she hasn't really opened them at all. At first she would walk into things (and people) and hurt herself (and people) but since then she has learned to keep her eyes open just a tiny slit or perhaps take an occasional peek, or perhaps she has miraculously developed sonar. Not really sure about this, either.....
This has caused a great deal of anguish to everyone except Lizzie. School feels that it is a hinderance to her learning. The Groden Center feels that it is a behavior to be addressed. Solutions Cedar has suspended Lizzie's PASS hours until this "safety issue" is resolved. Sadly, Lizzie has not been labelled 'Legally Blind' and thus continues to be discriminated against/harrassed/generally annoyed across all settings.
My dilemma: let Lizzie choose to be voluntarily blind as a way to diminish her sensory overload OR- continue down the diagnostic highway with frequent stops at every eye specialist, neurologist, child psychologist, and behavioral specialist along the way. I asked Lizzie if she could hear better with her eyes closed and she said that she did. She also told me to stop talking about it. When I tell her that it is time to work on reading skills, she opens her eyes (a little) and reads pretty well for a kid who really doesn't love to read!
Right now she is wearing a pajama top with blue penguins and pajama bottoms with pink cupcakes- and she is aware of it- and she doesn't care. I don't care either. Every morning she chooses her own perfectly-appropriate clothes for school.
As a parent, I want my child to be happy and safe.
I used to wish for her to be "normal" but now I know better.
I like the Lizzie I have: she doesn't sass back or text incessantly about boys, (she doesn't even like to talk on the phone), she never asks for slutty clothes or a tattoo, she will never experiment with drugs- she won't even try new foods without a major scene.
I believe that Lizzie has the right to be herself: the somewhat-verbal, always-comical, seldom-polite, petite, beautiful girl who hates dogs and snow days and loves perfume and swimming and techno music.
Is there anyone, ANYONE at all, who knows someone or someone's friend or someone's neighbor's dentist's cousin-in-law who likes to have his or her eyes closed all the time??? If so, I'm just curious. HMU.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Snowstorm Etiquette and FAQ
In case you missed the news (perhaps you have been in a coma or lost at sea in a raft): there's a BIG snowstorm coming.
Here's how you can help:
Stay out of the way. Let the plows get out there and get the roads and parking lots cleared. Tonight while you are snug in your beds, the plows will out there with salt and sand prepping the roads.
The firefighters in your town will be out several times during the height of the storm making sure all the fire hydrants are shoveled out. Help them to help you: stay out of the way! Do not shovel all the snow out of your drivieway onto the nearest fire hydrant and bury it.
It is recommended that all "non-essential" travel is suspended for the next 12 hours or so. So getting to your 7 a.m. Pilates class would be "non-essential", as cruel as that sounds.
Hey- I'm from NH- we drive in any weather! But remember- just because your road is clear does not mean that the girl who opens your workout facility at 6 every morning can get out of her driveway safely. So let's not be a self-absorbed whiner, okay? If you really need to get your workout in, go shovel out your elderly neighbor. Shovel out a hydrant. Or take the day off. Have some liquor.
Here's a handy checklist to help you with any additional questions you may have:
What exactly is "non-essential" travel?
Answer: if you are not Police, Fire or Medical personnel or a snow plow operator; your travel would be non-essential.
If you are actively involved in giving birth, the road is yours.
If you jump in your BMW to grab a latte; well, that's just not essential.
In fact, if you have to pause and wonder "Am I essential?", you are, in fact, not.
Here's how you can help:
Stay out of the way. Let the plows get out there and get the roads and parking lots cleared. Tonight while you are snug in your beds, the plows will out there with salt and sand prepping the roads.
The firefighters in your town will be out several times during the height of the storm making sure all the fire hydrants are shoveled out. Help them to help you: stay out of the way! Do not shovel all the snow out of your drivieway onto the nearest fire hydrant and bury it.
It is recommended that all "non-essential" travel is suspended for the next 12 hours or so. So getting to your 7 a.m. Pilates class would be "non-essential", as cruel as that sounds.
Hey- I'm from NH- we drive in any weather! But remember- just because your road is clear does not mean that the girl who opens your workout facility at 6 every morning can get out of her driveway safely. So let's not be a self-absorbed whiner, okay? If you really need to get your workout in, go shovel out your elderly neighbor. Shovel out a hydrant. Or take the day off. Have some liquor.
Here's a handy checklist to help you with any additional questions you may have:
What exactly is "non-essential" travel?
Answer: if you are not Police, Fire or Medical personnel or a snow plow operator; your travel would be non-essential.
If you are actively involved in giving birth, the road is yours.
If you jump in your BMW to grab a latte; well, that's just not essential.
In fact, if you have to pause and wonder "Am I essential?", you are, in fact, not.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Halloween
Halloween is the greatest holiday: you get to eat crap and wear a costume and it doesn't usually involve a big road trip or a shitload of credit card debt and you don't have to use your best manners.
I dressed up as 80's Aerobics Barbie today and I swear I didn't have a single evil thought or urge to kick anyone in the shins and that's pretty unusual.
You just can't be grumpy in a costume- unless you dress up as Grumpy, of course.
I think we should have a monthly or even weekly costume day: wouldn't we all be in better moods?
I could wear my wedding gown once in a while. If I'm having a bad hair day, I'll don a hoodie and sunglasses and be the Unabomber.
Crossdressers would totally blend in and the world would be a better place...
Lady Gaga would have to really up her game, though.
I dressed up as 80's Aerobics Barbie today and I swear I didn't have a single evil thought or urge to kick anyone in the shins and that's pretty unusual.
You just can't be grumpy in a costume- unless you dress up as Grumpy, of course.
I think we should have a monthly or even weekly costume day: wouldn't we all be in better moods?
I could wear my wedding gown once in a while. If I'm having a bad hair day, I'll don a hoodie and sunglasses and be the Unabomber.
Crossdressers would totally blend in and the world would be a better place...
Lady Gaga would have to really up her game, though.
Halloween
Halloween is the greatest holiday: you get to eat crap and wear a costume and it doesn't usually involve a big road trip or a shitload of credit card debt and you don't have to use your best manners.
I dressed up as 80's Aerobics Barbie today and I swear I didn't have a single evil thought or urge to kick anyone in the shins and that's pretty unusual.
You just can't be grumpy in a costume- unless you dress up as Grumpy, of course.
I think we should have a monthly or even weekly costume day: wouldn't we all be in better moods?
I could wear my wedding gown once in a while. If I'm having a bad hair day, I'll don a hoodie and sunglasses and be the Unabomber.
Crossdressers would totally blend in and the world would be a better place...
Lady Gaga would have to really up her game, though.
I dressed up as 80's Aerobics Barbie today and I swear I didn't have a single evil thought or urge to kick anyone in the shins and that's pretty unusual.
You just can't be grumpy in a costume- unless you dress up as Grumpy, of course.
I think we should have a monthly or even weekly costume day: wouldn't we all be in better moods?
I could wear my wedding gown once in a while. If I'm having a bad hair day, I'll don a hoodie and sunglasses and be the Unabomber.
Crossdressers would totally blend in and the world would be a better place...
Lady Gaga would have to really up her game, though.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Facebook status
So today's rant is about people who bully their Facebook "friends" into agreeing with and adopting their biased statuses. "I bet 99% of you will be afraid to paste this as your status!". Usually involves religion, politics, or just plain selfishness... The one going around today is something to the effect of "... so if you're sick of sending aid to foreign nations when people are going hungry in THIS country blah blah blah..."
What about all people being equal? What about being all God's children?
Yesterday was Holocaust Rememberance Day. Of the 6 million or so people who perished in the ultimate hate crime, about 1.5 million were children. Cut down too soon without a chance to play and learn and grow and love... What if one of those sweet babies was supposed to grow up and find the cure for AIDS? Or Cancer? Or Autism?
So before you begrudge a few penny's worth of medicine that prevents a child in Haiti from dying of dysentery, ask yourself if you're willing to take that chance again. I'm not.
Everyone, regardless of geography, religion, or race, deserves the right to go to bed in a safe place- with a full belly- after a long day of playing, learning, loving, and growing.
What about all people being equal? What about being all God's children?
Yesterday was Holocaust Rememberance Day. Of the 6 million or so people who perished in the ultimate hate crime, about 1.5 million were children. Cut down too soon without a chance to play and learn and grow and love... What if one of those sweet babies was supposed to grow up and find the cure for AIDS? Or Cancer? Or Autism?
So before you begrudge a few penny's worth of medicine that prevents a child in Haiti from dying of dysentery, ask yourself if you're willing to take that chance again. I'm not.
Everyone, regardless of geography, religion, or race, deserves the right to go to bed in a safe place- with a full belly- after a long day of playing, learning, loving, and growing.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Actual Headline:
"India Military to produce weaponized Hot Pepper."
Korea plans to retaliate with weaponized Kimchi.
In other news, the third Anti-Christ predicted by Nostradamus has been identified as Nancy Pelosi.
New idea for healthcare being tossed around on Capitol Hill: provide all sick and elderly people with Toyotas.
Korea plans to retaliate with weaponized Kimchi.
In other news, the third Anti-Christ predicted by Nostradamus has been identified as Nancy Pelosi.
New idea for healthcare being tossed around on Capitol Hill: provide all sick and elderly people with Toyotas.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Hope for Haiti
Madonna sucked, Beyonce had bad bangs (but wore pants), Justin Timberlake wowed, John Legend was wonderful, Julia Roberts looked pretty lousy sans make-up, but kudos to all for their time and talent. It was very entertaining.
Enough with the snarkiness- let's all dig deeper than ever into our pockets and send as much money as we can to our brothers and sisters who are suffering such loss.
I'm mad that my husband won't let me adopt an orphan from Haiti right now but maybe he'll cave- I'm going to keep nagging.
Enough with the snarkiness- let's all dig deeper than ever into our pockets and send as much money as we can to our brothers and sisters who are suffering such loss.
I'm mad that my husband won't let me adopt an orphan from Haiti right now but maybe he'll cave- I'm going to keep nagging.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Things you don't let a kid w/ Autism decide:
...whether to get the H1N1 vaccine or not. Any school nurse/teacher/aide who fears a physical struggle with my kid should maybe go get a job at the Hallmark Card store or the dry cleaners.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Christmas 2009
It's that time of year where if it wasn't for the wars and celebrities behaving badly, the sunday paper would be nothing but a bunch of glossy store ads.
This year every retailer has a one day sale (with a preview day). I guess "two day sale" doesn't convey that same sense of urgency. To further shrink the window of opportunity: "Power Hours" and coupons for "Early Birds".
In other words, it's the "Will every person on the planet please report to the mall at the exact same time and engage in a physical battle over the last pair of memory-foam slippers" event. Sounds like too much of an adrenaline rush for me so I'm doing most of my shopping on line.
Here's one of my favorite finds: Bio-degradeable flipflops for the green consumer. They're very cute but I'm a little concerned: what if I wade through one too many puddles and suddenly find myself shoeless? The liquor store doesn't let you in without shoes...
I won't need to get a Snuggie because in a serendipitous flash of brilliance/mild intoxication I put my fleece robe on backwards and Guess What: It's a Snuggie! I know- Genius!
Anyhoodles, happy shopping everyone! Drive safely and remember that NO ONE on your list wants a giant tin of popcorn!
This year every retailer has a one day sale (with a preview day). I guess "two day sale" doesn't convey that same sense of urgency. To further shrink the window of opportunity: "Power Hours" and coupons for "Early Birds".
In other words, it's the "Will every person on the planet please report to the mall at the exact same time and engage in a physical battle over the last pair of memory-foam slippers" event. Sounds like too much of an adrenaline rush for me so I'm doing most of my shopping on line.
Here's one of my favorite finds: Bio-degradeable flipflops for the green consumer. They're very cute but I'm a little concerned: what if I wade through one too many puddles and suddenly find myself shoeless? The liquor store doesn't let you in without shoes...
I won't need to get a Snuggie because in a serendipitous flash of brilliance/mild intoxication I put my fleece robe on backwards and Guess What: It's a Snuggie! I know- Genius!
Anyhoodles, happy shopping everyone! Drive safely and remember that NO ONE on your list wants a giant tin of popcorn!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Kind of Creepy
This is weird: I received an email reminder that it's almost time to change the water filter in the fridge. Are my appliances communicating to each other? Do they talk about me behind my back? Does the microwave think I look fat? (Is that why my popcorn always burns?)
Friday, September 25, 2009
Another Great Idea!
New game show: "Are You Smarter than a Scientologist?" Everyone's a winner!
Core Fitness Alert: I'm on for Saturday Yoga for this week, next week, and possibly a few more- stay tuned for more intel.
Final thought for today: Celebrity Gene Pool- did someone pee in it?!!
Core Fitness Alert: I'm on for Saturday Yoga for this week, next week, and possibly a few more- stay tuned for more intel.
Final thought for today: Celebrity Gene Pool- did someone pee in it?!!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
OMG! times Infinity!
The Duggers are having their 19th baby!
Is there a revolving door in her vagina?
Is there a revolving door in her vagina?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Things that make no sense to me:
Braille at the drive-up ATM
People who say that your fake Christmas tree looks so real, or that your real Christmas tree is so perfect, it looks fake
Commenting that the person in the casket looks really good
Non-smoking sections in restaurants- doesn't smoke kind of float around?
Thongs, especially since they're supposedly reusable
When my hygienist asks me how my summer's going while she's scraping away at my molars
Calling a small coffee "Tall" and charging $6.00 for it
People who buy it
People who say that your fake Christmas tree looks so real, or that your real Christmas tree is so perfect, it looks fake
Commenting that the person in the casket looks really good
Non-smoking sections in restaurants- doesn't smoke kind of float around?
Thongs, especially since they're supposedly reusable
When my hygienist asks me how my summer's going while she's scraping away at my molars
Calling a small coffee "Tall" and charging $6.00 for it
People who buy it
Monday, August 24, 2009
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