I'm so F***ing sick of Celebrities

Oh those trend-setting famous people in Hollywood: they raised the bar on us again. Remember when THE celebrity accessory was the Louis Vuitton bag- you know, the one that looked like it was decorated by a toddler with a box of florescent markers? Pretty soon, everyone had to have one and then all the other big bag designers started copying it (remember the D & B with the multicolored zipper that looked like creepy little Chiclets?) and then all the knock-offs started appearing- I think even Kmart had a version- and pretty soon even women on WIC had one.

Then the celebrities turned to the NEW fashion add-on: the teeny tiny dog. Pretty soon the people at LV started furiously churning out really BIG bags to hold all those tiny dogs- I think a gal named Paris had 6 gerbil-sized pups which, BTW, she could tote around in her old shoes, as she apparently wears a size 11. But I digress. The bags got bigger and the dogs got smaller until their own fleas could seriously kick their asses. But THEN-

Someone in Hollywood adopted a little brownish boy and pretty soon every OTHER desperate B-lister had to have one. They all bought Juicy Couture bibs and started frequenting parks instead of nightclubs. Well, except for Britney... But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

THEN- someone got pregnant. I forget who- maybe Jennifer Garner? and pretty soon EVERYONE just HAD to get a "Baby Bump" to coordinate with the multicolored kids and the LV diaper bags. Even Tom and Katie got on board- Literally- I hear they jaunted back to the Mothership so "Tom" could impregnate her with a turkey baster. Even a different (jilted) Jen had to try. **Major digression here: WHY can't this chick find and keep a boyfriend? She's famous and rail-thin and HOT and yet...nada. Even I managed to snag a Great guy and I'm not any of those things; I'm more like infamous, squishy, and best viewed in low lighting. Back to topic:
All the famous celebs go to each other's baby showers and push Lamborghini strollers together and it's all quite beautiful. But someone always has to get competetive- let's get MORE kids in all different colors and then immediately get pregnant AGAIN! Ha! Somehow, magically, everyone on the west coast finds out and delivers twins simultaneously.......
What to do? Get pregnant AGAIN! Ha! We Win!
Seriously, I almost hope her uterus falls out.
People: babies are not Webkins! You can't just collect the most and win- or try to trade out the duplicates! You have to feed these things and watch them and not let them eat cat food or razor blades. You can't stuff them in a really big purse and go clubbing with Lindsay!
You have to continuously like them- even if they have special needs or become teenagers or learn to drive, or text-message you stupid shit like "where is my appendix" and "OMG- where R U- what if I have appendicitis" and then not answer my calls for 4 HOURS. Yup- gotta keep loving them.
Please breed responsibly.